Thursday, February 26, 2009

To CiCi At One Year

The day you were born my world changed forever. I had never known a love for another person like the love I felt for you. I couldn’t imagine that love growing deeper and yet it has. This past year has brought me more joy than I ever thought possible. I’ve watched your personality begin to blossom. I’ve seen you learn and grow day by day. Everything is brand new and exciting in your eyes. And though I feel sad sometime that you’re not the tiny baby you were when I first held you in my arms, I am excited to see you grow and change in the years to come.

I want to be there for you every step of the journey. You have a sweet spirit, and you’re smart as a whip (just like your daddy, but don’t tell him). You’re as mischievous as your mother (don’t worry she already knows) and you’re as stubborn as both your parents put together (this could make things interesting). You make me stop and enjoy each moment of our time together. You make me smile when I feel like frowning, you make me laugh when I feel like crying, and you make each day more exciting than the next.

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I can’t wait to find out. You have made your daddy and I better people- more responsible, more patient, more childlike. We see the world through your eyes and delight in the innocence you lend to everyday moments. You try our patience at times (a little less whining would be nice, and no more spitting food at me when I’m not looking), you test our attention span (I think a few bumps and bruises aren’t bad, you haven’t fallen off the bed or dived out of your high chair), and you bring out the silly in us (all those weird noises you’ve picked up over the past year, we’ll blame those on your dad).

No matter how many time I’ve gotten food in my eye or spit up on my clothes I’ll cherish this past year for the rest of my life. You’ll grow up, but in my heart you’ll always be my baby girl. I’ll see you crawling down the hall laughing while your MeMaw chases after you, I’ll see you digging fistfuls of icing from your birthday cake, I’ll see you sleeping on my chest with the cat curled up beside you, and I’ll see you smiling with a flower tucked behind your ear.

Sometimes I wish I could pause time. These moments keep whizzing by and I know soon you’ll be heading off to college or starting a family of your own with someone special. I pray that no matter what you do or where you go you will trust God in everything. I pray you’ll know his grace. I pray your beautiful smile will be lit with his love. You’re more special to me and your daddy than you’ll ever know little one, and you always will be. Happy Birthday!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Counting Down

Despite all the hoopla involving our possible purchase of a home in Dillsboro (another post entirely), I have had one thing on my mind lately- CiCi's impending birthday. It's hard to wrap my head around the fact that it's been almost a year since she was born. It seems like yesterday I was in the hospital holding my tiny bundle and wondering if I had lost my mind nine months before. I was in awe of this little person and the huge, nay, ginormous burden of raising her to be a godly young woman. I am still in awe of her- how much she's grown, how much her personality has developed, how mobile she is (Lord help us).

It's difficult to imagine myself as a mom, especially the mom of an impending toddler, but when someone mentions mama and CiCi points at me accusingly, I am reminded that I am no longer just Susanna. She frustrates me sometimes (she tried to delete my entire post moments ago), but delights me most of the time. I can only imagine the joys the coming year will provide. I plan on writing her a letter on her birthday. Perhaps I will post it here so you can all cry and reminisce with me. I also plan on creating a 1 year slideshow which I will definitely post here. Stay tuned- it'll be a sappyfest of epic proportions.
I leave you with this:

She scores a 100 on the cuteness-O-meter.